Wrong side of heaven

I am falling and I can't get up

The friends you thought were ride or die,
just turn around and say goodbye,
and soon you are forgotten,
a whisper within a sigh.

When you have so much sorrow hidden underneath your sleeve,
when you feel so alone that it's better to just leave,
that's when you realise you smothered all your friendships,
caused everyone nothing but hardships.

What have I done?
Who have I become?
I spoke to the devil today and he says he's not to blame,
And I understood because I feel the same.

I am just drowning in my own pain...