Dying Hope

I'm drowning and I can't get out

                                

Following even the faintest of lights,

hoping they are stars.

Trying to hold on to the debris,

All I am left with are scars.

My mind intoxicated, body paralyzed,

panic sets in, heart pounding,

veins twitching, palms go numb,

Am I really this dumb?

Lesson after lesson goes in vain,

can't keep my hands off of this pain.

I am an addict, need my daily fix

of pain, disaster, and endless anguish.

I want to talk all day,

still end up walking away.

Too scared to say those words again,

afraid of feeling alive again.

What is dead was killed for a reason,

no desire of committing treason.

Loyal to my broken heart and soul,

Can't keep within what I can't control.

Someone stop this ache,

Desperately need a break,

From all this chaos in my mind,

Want to move forward, not look behind.

Lurking behind is a merciless fiend,

Me, it tries to capture,

Had someone intervened,

I would've been immune from its rapture.

Like a mite-infested book eats itself,

I feed on my own emotions,

save me from myself,

before I drown in these uncharted oceans.

In my last breath,

I mumble,

Stop chasing wealth,

you shall crumble.

Look at me, how I stumble,

on these rotten roads,

tired of being humble,

my heart implodes, psyche explodes